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14 Jan

Put another way, if a woman has an array of other quality options closer to her age range, what incentives would she have to date a man who is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLDER? Before any 40 people get all hot and bothered about this – I am not judging. I do think people improve with age (my wife is nodding). She doesn’t need a guy who will be taking Viagra when she’s sexually peaking at 43..

Dating an older woman is quite the rage these days.

As a woman over 35, I’ve never felt more desired by men in their late 20s and early 30s than I do now—moreso even than when I was that age. Pay no attention to the ol’ elbow-jabbing, wink-wink idea that cougars* are “more likely to put out and pay for everything.” Meh, that may be a reason a naïve man attempts to score with an older lady, but it’s hardly the reason a smart man enters a relationship with one.

So if you’re only seeking women in the 21-29 age range, let me tell you, you’re missing out. And by that I mean: her own career, her own friends, her own apartment, her own money.

(This is code for, “I dread clingy girls who abandon their own ships the moment we have sex, and set up camp on my shore.”) Also, the fact that an older woman has her own money means she likely worked hard to get it. You may buy into the idea that all older women are “desperate.” Granted, some are. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want marriage/kids, because she might—but if so, she’ll be pretty clear about it up front.

Should you automatically go dutch or expect her to pay? In fact, you want to impress someone, treat a lady with some bank to a nice meal, because she appreciates exactly how much it costs. So when you take her out with your friends or coworkers, be it to a wedding or work event, you don’t have to worry she’ll perish without your constant attention. Since she’s got a little life on her (and maybe even a marriage in her past), she may not have the rigid checklist that a younger girl has.