Ambivalent man dating

30 Dec

) that the man I was becoming more and more attached to is an “ambivalent” man, a commitmentphobe, a “runner.” I’m heartbroken, of course.

My question, even after “How Do I Get Him Back”: would he or could he ever change, even with all your relationship assistance and my best efforts? In that time, I’ve had nearly 1000 private clients who have engaged

If I am saying “yes” to something wholeheartedly, I can feel that yes in every cell of my being.

“No” has been considered and rejected, however fleetingly, and my “yes” has the quality of certainty.

It was at first a very passionate affair, but as soon as we moved in together and got engaged I had what everyone assumed was a typical case of “cold feet.” Trouble is, it didn’t go away, it nagged at me and it got stronger to the point where I felt I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

My ambivalence usually went like this: I’d meet someone, clearly see red flags right away (I’m very good at detecting red flags), push the guy away, and once I pushed, he generally liked me even more, so he would insist we were meant to be together. Once the initial chemistry of love wore off, I was faced with what I believed was the real nitty gritty of the relationship (the unglamorous living day to day stuff), something I couldn’t handle no matter how great the guy.

Sure, I liked him in certain situations, in others I even loved him, but clearly I had an unnatural aversion to parts of him that I simply should not have overlooked, but did.

You want to know how many of them ended up with those men? This may be shocking to you – or it may be utterly predictable.My perspective on this topic has developed over the past 20 years of working with individuals and couples and noticing how these dynamics emerge.Ambivalence occurs in intimate relationships when there is a coexistence of opposing emotions and desires towards the other person that creates an uncertainty about being in the relationship.It is our nature to split our experience into polarities, such as good/bad or right/wrong and emotions such as love/hate, joy/sadness.One could say that we constantly deal with the opposite of our experience even if that is unconscious.