Dating first call voicemail

08 Nov

I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I don't want to bore you with metaphysics, but how do you know this is a voicemail?

I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Maybe it's a dream, or maybe it's an illusion, or maybe you don't really exist.

“Keep it casual, mentioning something you laughed about together or just expressing how much you enjoyed hanging out.” Then, do not wait too long before asking for a second date.

Here’s how to proceed immediately: “The new norm is to text an hour after the date,” says dating and relationship expert Whitney Casey. Maybe she’s wondering if there’s enough of a spark, thinks you could be a bad boy or just dealt with a nasty breakup—whatever the case, you probably still have a shot. When we’re still thinking the situation over, overzealous behavior out. A simple text after the date to tell us you had a great time?

This is not a voicemail; this is a telepathic thought-recording device. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions.

After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you and I'll think about returning your call. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

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A: Your wait time should be indirectly proportional to how well the date went.

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I guess the simple answer as to why he won’t call you his girlfriend is because he doesn’t have to.

The only problem is he won’t call me his girlfriend.

I’ve tried bringing it up and when I do he almost makes me feel guilty about it and says things like ‘what we have is so special, why do we have to label it?

But one final word of caution: Don’t mess with our heads, or give us room to think you are. The right type of woman will like you a whole lot for it.

I pledge to you, my caller, that you will never have to suffer through another long answering machine message when you call me. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.